Lori Melanson discussing child development and parenting skills with sixth grade students at Hogg Middle School

After school one day, sixth-grader Jacob Ramirez went home and talked to his mother about discipline. He told her how discipline differed from hitting and suggested that she talk to him when he misbehaved. Jacob said, "The next time I did something wrong, she just sat down and talked to me. We started talking about what I did and after we finished, she gave me a hug."

Jacob got the idea to talk to his mom from a class he attended at school, Parents Under Construction, offered by Child Builders. Janet Pozmantier, who developed the program, says, "I was thinking about how to prevent some of society’s worst problems – alcoholism, violence, gangs, teen pregnancy – and realized most of those problems stemmed from the fact that people aren’t educated or trained in how to become parents. They basically do what was done to them. For many people who were parented poorly, those patterns repeat from generation to generation. I know that poverty contributes to these problems, but it can’t be the only factor. Too many people raised in poverty turned out to be unbelievably wonderful."

She continues, "I decided it would be worthwhile to develop a curriculum that teaches kids about child development and positive discipline so that before they become parents, kind of like fire safety instruction, they’ll know what to do!"

Students who attend the class seem enthusiastic about what they are learning. A 12-year-old girl offers, "I learned not to whip a child when he’s bad. I would tell him what’s right and wrong."

The class also influences friendships. Another girl explains, "If a group of us are hanging out and one person is standing by herself, I’ll go over and ask her to join us. I learned that it’s not right for her to be alone. It’s better not to leave anyone out."

Jacob chimes in, "We learn how to get along with each other. Instead of fighting, we try to talk. One day I was drinking some water from the fountain, and a kid ran into me. I asked him to watch where he was going instead of pushing him back or something worse, and it worked."

Ms. Pozmantier explains, "I call myself a ‘preventionist’ because I think it is much less expensive in terms of money and human suffering to prevent problems from occurring than to wait until terrible things happen and then try to build more prisons or rely on treatment. If we can teach children to be great parents to their children, then maybe in future generations we’ll see a change in the problems our society faces. When I see the kids learning and practicing these skills, I feel hope for the future."

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